Every young mom has heard statements like, "The days are long but the years are short," and "Enjoy them while you can because they'll be grown before you know it," tossed around probably every week of her life since she entered into motherhood. So when you are having one of those long, long, looooonnggg days that you want to end just so you can have a fresh start the next day, you feel so guilty. You know there are others that would love to be where you are. But honestly, in those moments where you find yourself joining in on the meltdowns that both your newborn and toddler on indulging themselves in, your instinct is not to be thankful in the least bit. Add that to that days dose of mom guil, which already consists of getting your toddler to bed too late the night before, not giving him enough attention when your newborn wakes you both up starving that morning so you find a quick fix to preoccupy your toddler long enough to feed your newborn (probably one consisting of too much sugar), the frustration your nursing newborn is experiencing since you slacked in the hydration department the few days prior, and then it's nap time. Oh, that blasted nap time. Oy. I have a love/hate relationship with nap time. You finally get one-on-one time with your toddler, just long enough for his eyes to begin getting heavy, and your newborn wakes up. Three hours of them tag-teaming you later, they both give in to sleep, and you're left beating yourself up for how you handled all of it. Even though I'm never alone with these two glued to my hip, in times like these, motherhood can be very lonely. Why? Because we never see those moments shared on social media. Is it because other moms don't want to admit they have them to, or are you the only one that feels like you're failing in the mom department some days? I mean not everybody can have their stuff together like it seems, right? Maybe it's because in those moments, we're actually doing what we are supposed to be doing. Mothering. Solving problems. Working through the hard times and comforting our little ones. Leaving no time to spare to get your camera out so you can "be real" for a minute. I find myself in need of an escape in moments like that. A fast one. A quick fix. One I can have right at my fingertips, if you will. Because I am so busy taking care of two munchkins that solely rely on me for their everyday needs, I don't have much time to spare. (That doesn't get overwhelming or anything.) The easiest escape? Social media. But even after checking Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest and even my email 5 times each within 10 minutes, I still find myself in need of an escape. Why? The Holy Spirit gently reminded me that those things aren't what my soul longs for. He is. He gently spoke to my heart. That's what we does. He's so very gentle. It's in times like that where I'm extremely vulnerable. Vulnerable to the "not good enoughs". That's when it's so crucial to guard my heart against comparison. Don't compare your behind-the-scenes with somebody else's highlight reel. Because that's really what social media is, right? A highlight reel. It's not that other mothers aren't experiencing these same trying times. I mean honestly, who wants to reminisce on moments that led you to feel a little broken-hearted and a whole lot of guilt that sometimes comes with motherhood. I don't want those popping up on my TimeHop each year. But maybe I need to. It's in moments like that where God brings me back to right where I need to be. At the foot of the cross. Humbly, prayerfully at His feet. Solely relying on His strength. Am I a mother? Yes. But first and foremost, I am a daughter of The King. He has granted me guardianship of two of his precious sons, and I want nothing more than for Him to parent them through me. Why? Because children reflect what they see. And I want them to see Jesus. I want them to come to know their good, good Father. Although I feel like I'm looking in a mirror sometimes, maybe, just maybe, that reflection isn't always bad.
In that moment, when I had all I could take and joined in on the tears, my just-turned-3-year-old's tears immediately stopped. He scooted over, put his arm around me and told me,"It's going to be okay, Momma. You need Daddy to come home and help, huh?" And even though I was able to squeak out a measly "yes", the conversation in my heart was so much richer. God tends to use my children to speak to me. Right then, He showed me that somewhere on this journey, Ace has picked up on how to comfort, how to put someone else's needs before his own, how to be a reflection of Jesus. That he sees how my husband and I work as a team, picking each other up as we stumble. He might not know the importance of that teamwork yet. It's how we keep Satan from sneaking in and taking those "not good enoughs" to "always failing". I pray that one day he will see that it wasn't just the two of us. We are a three-fold cord that is not easily broken, with God as our anchor. That the greatest Father of all, is still parenting us as well. Never leaving or giving up on us. Praise The Lord for that! It's in those low moments, that God reminds me He is there. He is in control. All I need to do is open my eyes and my heart. Take heart, Momma. You are never alone. God is right there with you. And I bet there is another momma somewhere behind a screen going through the same thing. I can promise you're doing better than you give yourself credit for. But when we do have moments where we feel like we're failing, (which we will, we are only human), know that He can turn those moments into something teachable because He is greater. I hope you find as much comfort in these two verses as I do.....
“Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.”
1 John 3:20
“He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.”
Isaiah 40:11
Oh, thank goodness for that!❤️
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